i met a guy. i honestly, met a for-real-goodness-to-gracious guy. (tangent- who coined goodness-to-gracious? it really makes little sense yet i can't stop using it.)

we talked. we laughed. i held my cool. i held my cool. i acted nonchalant when he asked for my number. "Sure, why not?" i said good bye and acted like this happens to me everyday. panic.

was i too nonchalant, maybe he didn't think i really was interested. maybe i'm not interested. technically, i'm interested in everyone, i like people. what the hell is interest? i'm in like. i liked him. crap, did i just admit that.

do i call? no. wait for his call. yes, that's it, play hard to get. maybe i won't even answer. maybe i won't return his call, i leave the worst messages anyways. i hate games. i hate dating or not dating. dating is a dirty word in my vocabulary. date, date, date. hate, hate, hate.

i'll text, you text friends. no one can read into a text. it shows nothing, reveals nothing. damnit to hell, what do i say?

no cussing. be witty...be wit-t-y. too much pressure. he probably doesn't even have texting on his phone. who doesn't have texting nowadays? is he archaic? maybe he's one of those superior than though who don't give into trendy fads? i hate that. i hate him.

he already thinks he's better than me, i can tell. i don't want to talk to him or see him again. screw that. we'd break up anyways, him and his superior attitude. he probably wouldn't like my humor. we'd never last.

i can see the breakup. he'd just gradually distance himself, no talking it out, no figuring it out. stupid pacifist. i'd be over it. i'd be over him. i am over him.

goodbye new guy. goodbye new chance at love. oh damn he texted.

"nice chatting with you today."